The 3 Phases of Human Change

A simple, human model for deep inner change

Over the last years, I’ve walked my own path of inner awakening and guiding hundreds of clients through theirs. Again and again, I saw the same pattern appear, regardless of background, beliefs, or whether someone considered themselves “spiritual” at all.

So I created a clear, grounded framework that describes how real, lasting transformation actually unfolds. I call it:

The Human Change Model™

This model is designed to be understood and used by both spiritual and non‑spiritual people. Just a map of what happens when a human being outgrows an old version of themselves.

The three phases are:

1. Conditioning

2. Change

3. Consciousness
   

(Originally in Danish: Indvikling – Afvikling – Udvikling)

Let’s walk through them.

Phase 1: Conditioning

This is where most people spend the majority of their lives. In the phase of Conditioning, we live from what we have learned in order to belong, survive, and be accepted. Our identity is shaped by outer circumstances, like:

• Family patterns

• Cultural norms

• Education

• Trauma and emotional experiences

• What we were praised or punished for

Here, we develop survival strategies; the underlying believes that creates our ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving - that once protected us.

These strategies are not wrong. They were intelligent, and they helped us adapt to our life.

But over time, what once kept us safe can begin to limit our choices, and disconnect us from our authentic needs and truth.

We may look successful on the outside, yet feel frustration, anger or resentment - we are out of flow. We may not know that we have a choice, and instead, we live a limited life which, in most consequences, makes us sick, stressed, and in un-alignment - so we start creating habits such as addictions, or overcompensation of fx use of money, physical activity or responsibility for others. 

Recognizing your conditioning is the starting point of human development.

Phase 2: Change

In this phase, change unfolds in two movements:

1. The Breaking Point: When your world (suddenly) collapses.
2. The Awakening: When you begin to release what no longer serves you.

Change begins with a Breaking Point

Every true transformation starts with a moment where something can no longer continue as before. This is your Breaking Point. It may arrive as:

• Burnout

• Heartbreak

• Loss

• Illness

• A life crisis

• Or a quiet but undeniable inner realization

Whatever form it takes, the message is the same:

“I cannot live like this anymore.”

It is the moment where the old identity begins to crack.

The Awakening

The Awakening is not about becoming someone else - it is about remembering who you are beneath the conditioning. Old roles, expectations, and identities start to loosen. What once felt certain may now feel empty or misaligned.

This phase can feel unstable, emotional, and unfamiliar. You may feel in-between worlds: no longer who you were, but not yet fully who you are becoming. And yet, this is also where honesty, clarity, and self-awareness are born.

For some, this awakening carries a spiritual quality. In many situations, we explore this awakening as a “side path” while still maintaining much of the structure and lifestyle from Phase 1.

It is a gentle — and sometimes confronting — invitation to live with greater truth, presence, and responsibility for your inner world.

Transformation tools and techniques can be:

• Human Design
• Astrology
• Feng Shui
• Meditation
• Breathwork
• Energy Work
• Therapy
• Tapping
• EFT
• Tantra
• Use of tarot, crystals, and senses
• Diving into the Universal Laws (like the Law of Attraction) and Quantum Physics
• Changing music and colors to experience different energy waves
• Changing existing habits

This phase can be long, lonely, and require lots of tools and techniques. This is exactly why I’ve created House of Being (blog link to The True Story Behind House of Being).

You might feel lonely in this process, which is why you might start searching for a new community of like-minded people. 

Phase 3: Consciousness

After the breaking point and the unraveling of old patterns, something new becomes possible. We become a Conscious Being. Here, you no longer live from unconscious survival strategies. You live from awareness, choice, and alignment. You may experience:

• Greater inner calm

• Clearer boundaries

• More authentic relationships

• A sense of meaning and direction

You are not becoming someone new. You are returning to who you truly are beneath the conditioning.

Living in Your Genius Zone

In this phase, we naturally move into what I call your Genius Zone (whereas before, we might have operated from the Zone of Excellence — more about this in “this blog post”), the space where our passion, position, and people are in alignment with our inner purpose.

To stabilize this new identity, you may be drawn to practices such as:

• Journaling
• Affirmations
• Meditation
• Breathwork
• Gratitude
• Vision work

These are not techniques to “fix” you. They are tools that support conscious living.

Why I Created the Human Change Model™

If you haven’t already done so, go read the story about why I created House of Being (link). I didn’t find the model in a book. I lived it. And I witnessed it in hundreds of coaching sessions with people from all walks of life:

• World leaders

• Entrepreneurs

• Parents

• Seekers

• High‑performers

• People in burnout

And I witnessed it again and again through hundreds of client journeys. Different stories - same pattern:

We begin in Conditioning.
We are initiated through Change, starting with a Breaking Point.
And we arrive in Consciousness.

This is not about becoming “spiritual.” It is about becoming fully human being.

How to Use This Model in Your Own Life

Ask yourself:

1. Where am I right now?
Am I holding it together in Entanglement?
Letting go in Unraveling?
Or building from truth in Expansion?

2. What is asking to change?
A belief? A relationship? A way of working? A way of being?

3. What would alignment look like for me?
Not according to others — but according to your inner compass.

You don’t move through these phases once. You cycle through them at deeper levels throughout life. You can return to these questions again and again. 

Final Words of Love

Transformation does not mean escaping your life. It means inhabiting it consciously.

If you are in Conditioning — you are not stuck.
If you are in Change — you are not broken.
If you are in Consciousness — you are not finished.

You are becoming.

And that is the most powerful journey there is!

Love & Light